First-blood blog and mental masturb-tion

I’m a first-time blogger. But that doesn’t mean I have a virginal mind. I’ve never kept a personal diary, too. Too creepy.

The way I see it, blogs are essentially diaries that have learned to masturbate in public. Now that’s more like it. I could use a little public display of "self-love" and "mental masturbation" every now and then — especially since the physical kind just doesn’t cut it for me anymore. Not like it used to, anyway. Sorry if I slighted your sensibilities.

I’m not as brutally vulgar as you think. =P

I have chosen to name my blog "Homo Erektus." The dictionary defines homo erectus as "an extinct species of primitive hominid with upright stature but small brains." Ah, just the way I like my blog to be — primal, barbaric and mindless.

It also reveals my special interest in human evolution, which I think is the best "lense" through which one can truly understand why humankind has fallen into the sh–t hole it now finds itself in. Much better than the other social sciences, say, economics or sociology. Or astrology.

Furthermore, when placed outside the context of human evolution, the word "homo erectus" can also be misconstrued — quite literally — to mean a "walking homosexual with a perpetual erection." Fortunately (or unfortunately), under this definition, neither "homo" nor "erectus" describes me aptly. But it does fit the "blog-as-mental-masturbation" premise quite nicely.

Notice, too, that I have replaced the "c" in "erectus" with a "k". Hence, "hommo erekktus." This is for no particular reason, save for the fact that the original spelling had already been taken by another blogger. I also think that the sound of "k" has more "kkkrrrunch" to it than a "c". Oh my, I’m beginning to bore even myself.

So here it is. My very first blog. Animalistic, lewd and totally brainless. Just the way mental masturbation should be.